Appreciating the Cracks

To whoever you are...its been awhile I know. 

With much thought and consideration I decided to renovate this blog into something much more than just a place to pin my poetry on the walls of the internet (although there will still be quite a bit of it). I want it to be a place for healing, inspiration and a little bit of truth that keeps the hearts of people beating strong. 

Have you ever seen a vase or pot with cracks running up the sides of it like deep lines of worry on a mothers face? It always strikes me as interesting that even with all its flaws and seemingly unsteady appearance it STILL STANDS. It always gets me wondering, is that how our souls look to God? That throughout this life of ours we experience tragedy, pain, anger, and fear that leave either a fine little crack or ones that split the whole side of us apart? Perhaps each trial leaves its scar on us in the form of a tiny division that starts on the surface of us, the vessel, that may not ever be fixed and thus becomes a weak point for a full on divide to occur. Or there is another way to view these blemishes or battle scars or in simplest terms: cracks; in truth they are really just ways to let the light in. There is so much darkness in the world, it tries to take over every crevice of our souls, craving the all consuming victory of our heart…but those of us who know we are broken vessels making our journey in this life know…the cracks let the light in and make it impossible for the shadows to consume us.

When you decide to let the light shine through the breaks you ultimately triumph over all the wrong that was done to you. The cracks were inflicted to weaken your structure and to break you, but your braver than that, you use those beautifully imperfect cracks to let the love and light of God shine right into the lies, scattering the well crafted plans we were being brainwashed to accept. The bottom line of the matter of all of this is…you are good enough, with all the scrapes, missing paint and most of all the cracks. EMBRACE THE BROKEN BECAUSE LIGHT WILL FILL IN THE GAPS. I hope that together we can find ways to get outside of our society shaped idea of perfection and smash it to pieces because its unattainable and at the end of the day when the light pours into me forcing out the dark I have a light inside of me, on the very inside revealing all the sovereign truth. At that point, with open hands and a open heart… I let the light OUT too. The evil in the world doesn’t have a chance when there are bold, courageous and daring broken vessels dwelling about shedding light on the sin.

Poem: It is my sunshine.

Its been two years to this very day,

That the definition of us, I was no longer able to say.

The little signs rear their head in haunting accuracy,

Reminding me of the tenaciousness of your betrayal.

I see my eyes searching for the answers for it to make sense,

Begging you to stay with desperate promises and recompense.

I believed it was me that was broken, I believed it to be true,

But all along you laughed from your throne because you knew,

My love would have followed you any place,

You wanted to give me away and still save face.

I pleaded with you to not take the sunshine,

Recalling vows that it would always be mine,

You made up your mind and sealed the last of me out,

That’s why you couldn’t hear my blaring shout.

Not to give me up, Not to leave me alone,

But the sky faded, an my sun ceased and it was shown,

That you were gone and you took all those moments,

I swallowed my pride and loved you anyway.

You took the smiles and the laughs we had,

And replaced them with tears and holding all the sad.

You took my honor and the grace that could have been,

And returned it as shame and the ugly scar of sin,

I hang my head when people ask who you were,

Because honestly, I feel like a liar cause I’m not even sure.

I have the picture of the brown eyed boy in my head,

But every trace of your existence is dead.

You packed up the evidence of your old life,

Brainwashed and arrogant; you act as though you never had a wife.

However, I know who I thought you could be,

I was just never able to make you see,

You could have been good, you could have been great,

You could have been a man in a respectable state.

Reality isn’t so forgiving of dreams that live in could have,

It hurts so badly to think of our redemption story that never happened,

Yet I know now from this day so long after that one,

That boy I gave everything to wasn’t really the sun,

I let him convince me that he was my entire worth,

The only purpose of my birth,

I’m older, I’m wiser, I know better now,

No matter who someone says the are, the only thing that matters is how,

How can man be greater that my king Jesus, so holy,

Truth is resolute, no one can surpass the light,

Who slays darkness and sheds the glow of hope on hearts,

That never thought they would see second chances,

And so it begins another year starts,

Continuing on that journey away from the darkness I called good,

The place where the would was inflicted remains,

But growth is usually well worth its pains,

Without that imposter of sunshine, I’m free of blemishes and all his stains.

Thank God for rainbows that always come after is rains.